Hey everyone! I am just reflecting on this LONG journey Lee and I have been on. If you don't know our background, we are high school sweethearts and have been together for 12 years now. We never took a break although we probably should have. LOL. It has been a rough road because we basically grew up together and taught each other how to be mature adults (with the help of our marriage counsellor), we have reached this level of enlightenment, maturity, and peace so I wanted to share something that has brought us closer with the couples out there...
When we have a hard topic to discuss we have established 2 ways to avoid wasted time holding a grudge against each other. (You know those days when u give each other the cold shoulder and dirty looks for hours lol) The one we use most often is the five minute rule. So when we have a heated discussion that leaves us feeling unhappy we give each other 5 minutes of space. We set a timer so that neither of us have to be the first to break the ice. When that 5 minutes is over we return to each other, hug it out and remind each other that we still love each other, then we resume our day as if there was no heated discussion. The second one is to have a discussion room or area where you walk across the room's threshold and "have it out." BUT when the discussion is over and you walk out of the room you leave your gripes in that room and resume your day! This requires for both of us to surrender our pride and remember that we're not fighting against each other but we are fighting FOR each other. The moment we realized this, the entire dynamic of our relationship changed and we instantly became less combative and ultimately happier!
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